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Renegade Outlaws Roaming The Gila

Sunday dawned warm but with a threat of rain, and by the afternoon the rainstorms had arrived. The wagon roads from civilization were flooded over, and all overland traffic was coming through Reserve. Even so, Sunday afternoon saw four scurvy Outlaws ride into town, full of ideas of finding hidden stolen loot secluded in the wilderness.

Strangely enough, two of the Outlaws are well known to the area, Rowdy Russ and his constant companion, Anything Goes Andrea. Once again, these two recusant Midwesterners have elected to jump the legal aisle and have changed from law enforcers to Outlaws. Joining them is their companion, “Old Dog” Greg, a grizzled cowboy who works a livery back in Ohio. Joining up with these dastardly evil-doers is Bagdad Seth, a mercenary from Arkansas and late of Iraq. The Outlaws quickly hired Nate as a guide and set about studying their stolen map, complete with riddles.

Right on their heels, a Posse of six rode in to town. Four Oklahoma Okies arrived, Hop-a-long Kathy and her hubby, Do or Die Dennis, along with Ruthless Ruth and Killer Claudia. Boomer Blaine and his wife, Hired Gun Harley, arrived from Houston to help track the deadly Outlaws. Having a bit of extra cash on them, the Posse hired a local, “Captain Chaos” Lia, as an extra gun. They talked Loco Lyndsey into taking up arms once again, and she agreed (somewhat reluctantly), to lead them into the wilderness. Rumor about town was that Captain Bates was pulling double duty, searching for Outlaws and loot in the wilderness while riding herd near Canyon Creek.

When the Outlaws got word of the Posse’s arrival, they quickly set out to find the hidden loot. Saddling up in the early morning light, they took off well before the Posse could locate them. Some discussion of going to Ten Dead Canyon was heard, but Russ and Andrea quickly nixed it, saying that the loot there had grown legs and walked off, and only large bribes would get them to return to the canyon. Thus, they took off for the next-closest loot location, marked on their map as Cow Camp. Arriving just hours after leaving town, Seth and Greg set to searching methodically for the loot, while Russ and Andrea stood watch. About 30 minutes later, Seth and Greg located the loot hidden carefully just outside of camp. After some brief discussion, it was decided that they would go to an area known as East Camp, as it was easily defended plus there were some rumors of loot stashed there.

Meanwhile, the Posse had gathered their saddles and loaded their guns, and were discussing their plans. It was decided to try to outride the Outlaws to the loot, and avoid any direct hostilities until later in the week. They took off on a long ride to cross country, and after about 3 1/2 hours arrived at the Trapper’s Cabin outside of Harleyville. Studying the riddle they had found, they searched and after about an hour, Harley came up holding the loot. Jubilant, they took off to the trading post at Canyon Creek, where they briefly rendezvoused with Capt Bates. They tried to hire him away from his current duties, but Capt Bates is as honest as a preacher at the pearly gates, and refused to relinquish his duties for which he was being paid for.

Capt Bates informed the crew that he had been commissioned to build a corral near the local Trading Post, and at the same time ride herd to keep the wolves from destroying the ranch’s cows. It was proving to be quite a trial, as the wolves were bold and hungry, and Capt Bates had been forced to riding the herd at 9pm, midnight, 3am, and 6am, firing his gun and running his horse to scare off the predators. The captain did say that he would ride with his guns loose and loaded six ‘n’ six, and he would take down any devious Outlaws he encountered.

Having ridden for the better part of the day, the Posse set about looking for loot that was secreted about the Trading Post. Tired from their long ride and previous search, they were unsuccessful. Towards nightfall, they prepared to make camp. Lia the hired gun warned the Posse to hide among the trees, as she feared an attack by the Outlaws. Some of the Posse agreed and melted into the forest, but some felt that the ride was too long for the Outlaws to make on such short notice.

Back at the Outlaw camp, plans were being made to pay the Posse a visit in their camp. The devious four snuck over to Cow Camp, but a quick reconnaissance found no sign that the Posse had ever been there. The Outlaws returned to their camp, and quickly deduced that the only place the Posse could have gone was Canyon Creek. Once Seth suggested that the Posse could have found the loot bag at Ten Dead Canyon, and probably had the one at Canyon Creek, the Posse began to get worried that their money was being stolen right out from under their noses. Three days worth of grub was packed, along with bedrolls, slickers, sleeping bags, and coats. The only thing that was missing was a hotel porter to help carry more luggage, as the Outlaws packed to withstand the elements away from camp for up to three days. The horses were resaddled, and they set out for Canyon Creek at about 8pm. The first part of the journey was pleasant, and song was heard as the Outlaws traveled the countryside. The locals noted that no wolves were seen that night. Nor coyotes, renegade indians, or anything else with ears.

As they approached Canyon Creek, the Outlaws were a bit more careful, and they circled around so that the trees and rocks concealed their approach. Dismounting about a ½ mile away, they crept up on foot towards the Trading Post. There was a bit of confusion and worry, as they saw no campfire and in the moonless night, it was nigh impossible to pick out a target. Suddenly, sharp Outlaw ears picked out the slightest of whispers, and perhaps a bit of giggling. Seth and Greg slowly made their way towards the sound, where they surprised Blaine and Harley. A few shots rang out, and the Outlaws, being in superior position, forced the two Posse to surrender. After Harley surrendered her loot bag in an attempt to save her life, the evil Outlaws cut their throats, leaving them for dead. It was a good plan, well executed, except for the slight snafu where Old Dog and Bagdad Seth got separated, lost, and confused, and ended up shooting at each other in the darkness. Fortunately, no injuries were inflicted, except that Nate’s sleep was interrupted.

At the same time, Russ and Andrea crept down to the Trading Post, certain that they’d find someone nearby. Sure enough, snores were heard from inside, and the duo crashed the doors to the bunkhouse, finding Claudia and Ruth comfortably snoozing in their sleeping bags. The end was quick and painless, if you ignored the pain of the ear-piercing screams from the ladies as they were rather rudely awakened.

Russ devised a plan to sleep under the Trading Post and dispatch the Posse as they came from parts unknown for breakfast. That plan, however, was quickly abandoned shortly after he bed down under the deck. As he was laying there chuckling at his prowess, he felt what he later described as an 8 foot timber rattler crawl over his neck. Rowdy jumped up, bonking his head on the decking, which caused Ruth and Claudia to again rise from the dead, screaming. Running outside to escape the snake, Russ found the Creek part of “Canyon Creek,” and ended up sopping wet. Returning to camp, he told stories of wrestling the King Cobra to its death, although no one particularly paid any attention.

The next morning, Captain Chaos returned to camp to find the carnage inflicted by the Outlaws. She quickly gathered up Blaine and Harley and they went sneaking over the hills, where they discovered the Outlaw camp. Sneaking over the crest of the hill, they positioned themselves perfectly with the sun to their backs. Soon, Rowdy came trekking up the hill, to check out the situation in the Posse encampment. Blaine let off a shot, which had the desired effect; he shouted in fear, grabbing his gear and diving for the brush. However, before he could get his wits about him, Harley shot him down. Andrea and Old Dog Greg ran to his defense, but they were quickly outgunned by the withering crossfire the Posse had set up. Andrea fell to a bullet from Blaine, but not before avenging Russ’ death by killing Lia and Harley. Greg and Blaine, after exchanging gunfire for several minutes, retreated to the safety of their camps.

Upon their return to their camp, the Posse decided to gear up and try to escape to the next loot location. They quickly saddled their mounts and began to head out. Unfortunately, they saw that they were under surveillance by the Outlaws. Just out of rifle range, the Outlaws sat staring at the Law Officers, trying to intimidate them. When it became obvious that the Outlaws were not going to attempt a raid, the Posse moved out towards Pine Canyon. As they left the camp, Dennis and Kathy circled around to observe the Outlaws; sure enough, they were frantically searching the camp for the loot bag that was on their map. Dennis and Kathy reported this back to the Posse group, and they left with big grins on their faces, knowing that the Outlaws were searching for a bag that was safely secured in the Posse’s saddlebags.

After searching for about 20 minutes, Greg began to get the idea that they’d been hoodwinked. The Outlaws gathered around their clue, and deduced that there were only a few places the loot could be hidden. All of those locations had obvious signs of searching, so the group decided that the Posse had probably found the stash. Gathering around the map, the Outlaws decided that the Posse had probably headed to Pine Canyon, as that loot was only a few hours into the forest. After consulting with Nate, the Outlaws headed overland instead of taking the most direct route, up the canyon. The trip was not one they were looking forward to, after such a long ride the night before, but it seemed safest.

Sure enough, the Outlaws were busy fortifying an ambush just down the wagon track from the loot location. While the rest of the crew hunkered down in the brush with guns drawn, Dennis and Kathy went to search for the loot. After about ½ hour of searching, they were surprised by the Outlaws, who attacked from the ridge above the canyon. Gunfire erupted, and the battle was long and bitter. Lia heard the fighting and came running, but had to take the long way up and around MQ ridge to get to the action. In the meantime, Dennis fell to a bullet from Greg, and Kathy died a long, loud, laborious death at the hands of Seth. The Academy Award voters were notified of Kathy’s performance, and we understand she is being considered for an award. During the battle, Andrea was killed by a backshot, the killer as yet unidentified. Russ is still professing his complete innocence.

Having dispatched the two Posse members, Greg and Seth began searching for the loot, with Russ standing guard. As they searched, Russ spotted Lia moving in from the west and Blaine and Harley attacking from above the ridge. The battle was fierce, but Blaine and Harley eventually fell to gunfire from Seth, with Greg pinning them down with flanking fire. Russ and Lia exchanged gunfire for over 20 minutes, and eventually Lia shot Russ in the head. Seconds after, she was shot by Seth, who managed to flank her as she was engaged with Russ.

As Greg and Seth searched for the loot, Lia and Russ met for a meeting. Since over 50% of each team was dead, neither team could move, attack or go to loot locations, so it was agreed that both teams could return to their camps. The Posse moved out, and Russ, Nate and Andrea endured a brief rain shower with their horses while waiting on Seth and Greg’s return. The wait was well worth it, however, as Greg returned with a big grin on his face and a loot bag under his arm.

The Outlaws began the long ride back to the camp area, following the same wagon road that the Posse had traveled about 45 minutes prior. Nate was leading the way, with Seth next and Greg, Russ, and Andrea following. About 3 miles away from the Loco Ruins, Seth’s slicker worked its way loose and fell to the ground. Fortunately, Greg spotted the garment and called out to Seth, who circled back and jumped off his horse to retrieve it. As he was tying it on, Seth’s good horse Zane decided that this was taking too long, and started to walk off to follow Nate. Seth, cussing and muttering in true Arkansas yee-haw manner, walked behind trying to grab a rein. Naturally, Zane simply walked just fast enough to keep Seth behind him. Greg tried to head Zane off, but the area was rocky and the maneuvering was difficult. Seth’s horse picked up the walking pace, Seth called out to Nate to please grab Zane’s reins as he went by. Nate stopped and waited on Zane and when he came abreast, reached out to grab the reins. Zane, being the nimble NBar ranch horse that he is, quickly skirted Nate and took off at a trot down the wagon road.

Much irritation by Seth turned into abject horror as his slicker worked itself loose again, falling down among Zane’s back legs. This caused the horse to bolt into a fast canter, with the slicker flying around. Needless to say, this only terrified Zane even more, and off went Seth’s horse at a faster and faster run, with three day’s worth of food flying out of his horn bag; cleaning rods, rags, cameras, pillows, and possibly a 14 inch color TV falling by the trail as the horse sprinted away from the group. Faced with a 10 mile hike back, Seth hitched up his britches and began walking, picking up his supplies as he found them along the road. His teammates, being the pals that they were, gleefully pointed out his supplies to him as they rode by each item, so he could pick it up and carry it home. Everyone (except Seth) agreed that the ride home was even better than the midnight ride out, as it was sort of like a treasure hunt. Rowdy, Greg and Andrea pointed out the candy, sandwiches, and snacks to Seth as they walked, and it was remarked that they felt like a Posse tracking and Indian Outlaw that had just robbed a 7-11 store.

Meanwhile, Nate spurred his horse in to a fast trot, hoping that Zane would get tired and stop alongside the road to wait on his companions. Unfortunately, up ahead, Seth’s bedroll had worked itself partially loose from the saddle. Even farther ahead, approaching Doubtful Tank, Lyndsey’s Posse group was enjoying the ride back to camp, relaxing under the amnesty period and taking in the scenery. Lia was leading, and Lyndsey was in the rear, keeping an eye on the lesser experienced riders, as they rounded a corner and began approaching a herd of about 30 cows, who were relaxing on the road. Suddenly, the group heard Lyndsey scream from behind “OFF YOUR HORSES, OFF YOUR **** HORSES RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!” Only a few had time to dismount, as Zane tore through the Posse riders, dragging out behind him 30 feet of bedroll. The horses spooked, crow-hopped, and bucked, as riders and gear went everywhere. On top of it all, just as the horses had somewhat settled down, the cows, spooked by the horse and white bedroll, came charging into the group from the opposite direction, setting off the rarely seen “double wreck” as horses once again spooked and any remaining riders were quickly forced to dismount and gear was thrown about.

There was much exclamation and discussion, with a few of the Posse claiming they had seen Seth wrapped up in the bedroll and drug behind Zane, like a little Barbie Doll in a blanket. Lyndsey and Kathy’s horses had spooked badly, and had broken their reins and run off following Zane, so Lyndsey and Kathy were also forced to travel afoot. Lyndsey was heard to say that this would be the last bleepin’ Posse Week she would ever be part of. Minutes later, Nate caught up with the Posse group, and confirmed that Seth was indeed back yonder, picking up supplies as if he was hunting mushrooms in the forest.

Nate and Lia rode ahead to Fence Tank, were they found the three horses, frazzled and sweaty but no worse for wear. The bedroll behind Zane had been stomped into the mud, as the horses had finally had enough of the pursuing creature and had decided to attack it rather than flee. The rest of the groups came straggling in, on foot and horseback, tired and a bit frayed from the excitement. It was quickly decided that the amnesty period would continue until 6am the next morning. The two groups returned to their camps, had dinner, and immediately crawled into their bedrolls.

Thursday before lunch, the Outlaws walked over to the Posse camp, and found the lawmen waiting for them. A long, protracted battle commenced, with Seth and Greg raining down fire from the ridge and Russ and Andrea attacking the camp from the flat ground. Ruth and Claudia were guarding the horses, so the battle as five on four with the Posse holding their tent area. Hundreds of rounds were fired, and the battle was fierce, but eventually the Posse went down, but not before scoring a kill on Andrea. Everyone gathered about, and stories were told about the previous day’s adventure, while Greg and Seth looked about for any loot that was hidden in camp. Harley and Andrea fixed up a nice lunch, and suddenly Greg, who’d had a couple beers to sharpen his eyesight, spotted a hidden loot bag in the rocks.

After lunch, some good-natured ribbing went back and forth, and suddenly it was time for duels. A very short distance was paced off, and several hours were spent in quick draw duels, with Seth being the run away winner, as he killed everyone without being taken out himself.

Thursday afternoon, Lia, Kathy, Dennis, Harley and Blaine attacked the Outlaw camp, destroying a perfectly fixed dinner and jangling the Posse’s nerves. After the Posse had retreated, the Outlaws gathered around their ruined campfire and discussed tactics. A quick count of loot bags showed that the Outlaws had five of the six, with only the Ten Dead Canyon loot still not found. Seth and Greg were still alive, and a plan was quickly devised to find the final loot bag Friday morning and to keep Seth and Greg alive to collect the reward at the end of the week. Knowing that Capt Bates was lurking around, Greg and Seth looked for the perfect hiding spaces. Greg climbed high upon the ridge, hiding under a fallen tree. Seth put his military training to work, and dug a 6 foot by 3 foot by 3 foot hole, threw his horse-stomped bedroll down, and pulled his tent OVER himself, spending the night not in, but UNDER his tent, confident that he was safe from any attack.

Sure enough, during the night Capt Bates found the Outlaw camp. Being devious, the first thing he did was build a roaring fire and drink some coffee and eat the Outlaw food. He then began taking potshots at the tents, jangling nerves and keeping everyone awake. Seth and Greg, following the plan, did not emerge from their hiding places. Russ snuck out of his tent, but could not locate the elusive Captain.

Russ also noticed that he could not locate the horses. As dawn broke over the mountain, he checked the horse corral and discovered some renegade indian (or ranch owner) had pulled the fence open and the faithful steeds (including Seth’s) had taken off. Word soon came back from across the prairie that the horses had been captured by the Posse, and suddenly the Outlaws found themselves afoot with absolutely no way to make it to Ten Dead Canyon and back to the safety of town.

The Outlaws gathered their gear and extra ammo, and hiked toward the Posse camp. Sneaking just over the ridge, they crawled up behind some Ponderosa Pine and took stock of the situation. Their horses were loose but standing right in the camp. Posse were entrenched all over, and lookouts made it impossible for the Outlaws to sneak in and get their horses and ride off to Ten Dead to locate the final loot bag. In addition, much to their chagrin, the Outlaws saw that Loco Lyndsey had now armed herself, and Capt. Bates was also spotted carrying a rifle and looking for blood. The Outlaws realized it would be a suicide to try to retrieve their horses, yet they had to be back in town by 3pm to make their train (and, uh, win the game). The odds seemed very long.

Suddenly, inspiration hit. Their horses were inaccessible, that was true; but the Posse horses were unguarded! Sneaking down to the last bit of cover, they emerged into the grasses and ran to the Posse corral. The Posse couldn’t fire because of fear of hitting their own animals. The Outlaws captured the Posse horses, and offered a trade for their own trusty mounts (except for Seth, who had no qualms about leaving Zane behind). However, during the negotiations, insults were uttered and the gauntlet thrown down yet again, and a battle broke out. The carnage was terrible as everyone suffered multiple wounds and from both friend and foe. After several hours of raging fighting, the week ended, appropriately enough, when Lia and Russ shot each other simultaneously, killing each other at the same time. The Gila was once again quiet, with no more Posse and no more Outlaws to be seen, at least until June of next year.